Check out this can of nuts who thinks Jesus is a bruise on her toes.

Link Here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/29/paula-osuna-jesus-toe-bruise_n_4690623.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Huff Post-She believes in the Father, Son and the Holy Toes.

Paula Osuna, of Silver City, N.M., claims that the image of Jesus appeared to her in a bruise on her toe, KRQE reports.

Osuna's foot was thoroughly bruised last weekend, when she fell down the stairs, according to the Christian Post. A few days later, she asked her fiance, http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/Santuario/HolyDirt.html, to rub some holy dirt -- which he had saved from a pilgrimage to the Catholic shrine in Chimayo -- on her foot.

She bandaged the foot over the dirt, and the next day, when she took the bandages off, her family members pointed out that one of her bruises had taken on the shape of Jesus Christ.

Okay, before I bring this pig to the slaughter, Huffington Post that pun was gross. It was so bad I didn't even laugh, and I LOVE puns. Father, Son and Holy Toes. Holy Moly thats beyond atrocious. Step your pun game up or get out of it altogether because thats inexcusable.

So it seems like every few weeks some new zealot is seeing the son of god poking his glorious facial hair on a piece of toast, in the snow or the newest one, on some whale's toes. Newsflash idiots, a guy who can turn water into wine isn't going to waste his time making his lettuce appear on some sausage toes for some bitch who just finished her 2nd #3 from Whataburger and washed it down with a side of high cholesterol. He's got pussy-getting wet skills like you read about, so theres no reason for him to force himself out in the overly tolerant bible-belt.  I'll be honest I think the shroud of Turin is a stretch, nevermind this hog's piggies who went to market having Hey seuss's smug mug bruised into it. 

Side note- is there anything, and I mean anything worse than stubbing your toes? The worst collective minute and a half of your life with be a collection of post 5 second toe stubbing. Rather lop a finger off at the root than stub a bare foot on an immovable object. 

Check out this jerk off who paid his tuition in dollar bills

Denver Post- University of Utah student Luq Mughal paid his tuition bill Tuesday with 2,000 single dollar bills as a protest against rising tuition rates.

Mughal said he spends his weekends working to pay for college — after a week of 12-hour days studying electrical engineering. Even though the 21-year-old gets a discount because his father is a member of the faculty, the cost of tuition plus fees, books and living expenses is crushing.

“By no means am I the saddest story on campus. There's a lot of people here just as bad and probably worse,” he said. “The people making the prices are not actually aware of how hard it is on the students.”

He's hoping to send a message with the cash, which he collected from several banks, and that more students join him next year.

So before I go off on Luq with a q for being a total jerk off, let me say from someone being crippled by student loans, anything to make a college realize how shitty they are for legally stealing from kids I'll get behind. My school was $48,000 A YEAR my senior year. I just shit my pants and screamed at the same time rereading that statement. Greatest time of my life, still shouldn't cause almost 50 g's. GAH.

Alright Luq....Luke? Luck? Go pound sand you intolerable dick. Your father works for  U Utah. You're protesting  something you're receiving for 80% off. You know who else does that? Assholes, thats who. You're paying 20% of a state school tuition. So I'm assuming all said and done college costs you like AT MOST 8 grand a year. God I hate you you weird-name spelling turd. I hope the lady at the bursar throws a brick at your head.

Speaking of which if you're that fat, miserable middle aged woman working at the bursar (Pretty sure thats the 4 requirements to get hired at a university bursar.) Do you just straight up quit when you realize you have to count this shit out? The next 3 hours of your life are going to be spent counting out dollar bill after dollar bill because Don in maintenance's son had to be such little dick and pay for school this way. You either quit on the spot or somehow make sure Don's check gets lost in the mail the next few weeks. 

Oh look Frontier airlines is fucking their customers again. What a surprise.

Pop quiz hot shot. Whats the worst airline in the history of airlines? Wrong, its Frontier. Oh wait? You guessed that. Not too difficult when they suck an amount that becomes impressive. I flew them for the first time this week. Total shit show. Terminal was over crowded and smelled like hot wet ass, they charge not only for checked bags (Southworst for the win). THEY FUCKING CHARGE FOR CARRY ON. Let that sink in. To use our public space you have to throw us a Jackson cause we're greedy ass bags. Then they give you about 20 directtv channels to watch, not bad right? A little Jet Blue action you think...Wrong fuck face they're gonna try to hit you up for another $5 just to watch anything. But don't worry, if you don't want to shell out the money they'll let you stare at a blank screen just taunting you.

So this comes as no surprise that they are hate fucking their customer for more cash. I think the biggest surprise here should be that they actually have people who qualify for this rewards program. What the hell is wrong with these people? Have you ever flown another airline? Like literally anything else? Cause at this point I'd rather take a hot air balloon to get me places than fly this dumpster fire of an airline.

Lastly, how dare they put pictures of adorable animals all over their planes. Look at that fox, hes cute as shit. I'm here squeaming and squealing like a middle school girl over how god damn cute that thing is. But now its ruined because this adorable little bastard is hiding the filth and greed that is this sham of an airline.

I have NEVER wanted a player to have a big game more than I want DT to have one against Richard Sherman.

Fuck this guy.

       Alright, let me start off by not selling Richard Sherman short. This guy is incredible. Hands down the best CB in the NFL, shut down to the point of being reminiscent of Revis from 3-4 years ago. Dude can flat out play. Having said that FUCK THIS ASSHOLE. Look, I love when players are cocky and they can back it up, its incredible, someone who can talk jive and show everyone why they're talking that way. But this shithead takes it to a new level of asshole I didn't think was possible. Slaps Crabtree's ass and gives him the choke sign? Dude is lucky he wasn't playing back in the 80s against anyone from the U. Michael Irvin would have whipped out a blade he had been hiding and give this dick a haircut right on the field. Then, poor gorgeous Erin Andrews tries to have a nice civil interview with him and hes spouting off like Muhammad Ali before a Frazier fight. Saying he's the best in the league and Crabtree is weak. Bro, little hint here....you haven't won shit yet. You want to do this after you take home the Lombardi trophy? Go ahead. But you made it to the superbowl, congratulations. Kerry Collins lead a team to the superbowl on a 4 year black out...chill your shit.

Which is why I don't want, I NEED Demaryius Thomas to have a UUUUGGGGEEE game. I mean Megatron vs. the Cowgirls uge. Need him to put up monster numbers why Sherman sits there so beside himself he can't even put words together (I know he has a hard enough time with that as it is.) All this needs to happen or Denver needs to run a #83 special on his stupid ass.

Sidenote- 

Jesus Christ, Iggy. You must HATE this dude. 

Game day. TIME TO RIDE

Game day has finally come, and arguably the greatest QB rivalry ever is happening once again on the 2nd biggest stage. I know history has favored pretty boy Tommy 'Uggs' Brady at a gross 4-9 against Peyton. But they're coming into Mile High today...and it is GORGEOUS out almost 60 degrees, totally sunny, no wind. A one glove day for Peyton. I'd like to think the Denver offense is going to be just too much for the Pats to handle and they can hopefully run it right down their throats; but i have my concerns. I've seen too many well thought out game plans by Bilichick to think he is going to let this game come down to which team has more talent on their roster. Pats have been power running like its the 1970s to get to this point but I feel like with Chris Harris out for the season (fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck) and a depleted secondary where its going to be up to a rusty Quentin Jammer and 125 year old Champ Bailey to stop the aerial attack of Tommy boy.

This game should get interesting. Final Score DEN:34 NE:31

DIA sues RTD over lightrail to airport project

Denver Post-A $53 million contract dispute between Denver International Airport and the Regional Transportation District over the costs of bringing passenger trains to the airport has escalated into a court battle.

DIA filed suit after getting what it considered an unfavorable ruling from a hearing officer. Hoping to recover the full amount, DIA has excluded the entire $53 million from its cost estimates for its terminal redevelopment project, which is already more than $40 million over budget.

The dispute centers on the last stretch of RTD's East Rail Line, which ends at the airport. The airport and the transit system disagree about who should pay how much for a long list of items along that stretch: excavation, roads, bridges, walls, drainage and the train station platform.

For DIA, a victory in court is critical to a project budget that has already grown from $500 million to $544 million.

I bet you think you know where I'm going with this. You think i'm going to say who cares? public transportation is for poor people anyway, why would a world class denver sports blogger like myself need the three ring circus that is public transport? And most of the time you would be right. Because the worst type of human beings use public transit. Usually you are lucky if you ride and don't get stabbed by anything from a hypodermic needle to homeless bum's crank shaft.Its an absolute bloodbath of uncomfortable to downright dangerous situations.

 But this is the line to the airport. The one line i actually care about getting built. Do you know how far away DIA is from Denver? its practically in Missouri (yes I skipped all of Nebraska, its that far away), a huge time investment just to drive there out in the middle of the plains. The wind gusts about half the speed of sound and you're afraid its going to flip your car the whole time. Absolutely brutal. Last week i hit a tumbleweed, a fucking tumbleweed. Think about that for a second. It was my jeep vs the tumbleweed coming at my car like Von Miller on meth and its safe to say that tumbleweed won. So if I can throw some headphones on and leave it up to someone else to get me there. I'll take the possible homeless/ naked crazy people/ catastrophic train accident to be able to be that little bit more lazy. Its that much of a problem in my life. 

Chicago man asked by police to stop shooting down icicles off his house with a revolver.

Exact sketch of aforementioned man.

Huffington Post- A suburban Chicago man's unconventional method of removing icicles from his house attracted some unwanted attention from a neighbor and, ultimately, police, last Friday.

As United Press International reports, the 80-year-old from St. Charles, Ill. was trying to remove the icicles from the second floor of his home by shooting them down from his bathroom window with a .22-caliber revolver.

A neighbor whose dog was frightened by the gunfire called Kane County police, who responded to the Friday incident and advised the man to try a bullet-free alternative like a broomstick handle instead, the Kane County Chronicle reports.

“He stated that if anybody was hit by the falling round, it would be just like getting hit with a piece of hail,” police said, noting the man argued his icicle removal method was safe since he was pointing the shots upward and not at anyone.

You ever get a feeling that the elderly are only being kept around for their sheer senility and entertainment value? I can't see how a person like this is left alone to his own devices to eventually be caught removing icicles from his house in the only practical manner available.... a .22 revolver, obviously. I love his response of 'the falling round would feel like getting hit with a piece of hail.' basically saying stop being such a pussy and let me get back to shooting inanimate objects off of my house. 

Guarantee you this is the same type of grandfather that drinks a bit too much Jim Beam, gets his grandkid's names wrong and occasionally shows up to thanksgiving dinner without pants on. You know, the best type of grandfather. Gets a little too dicey talking about ' Those japs back in dubya dubya two.' No magnum PI and a glass of warm milk for this old bastard, Those jerkoff icicles are back again and hes there to show them once and for all who's the king of his Chicago suburbia home. 

Side note- I feel like Chicago has regressed into an arctic thunderdome, People just beating back Old man winter with a good old fashioned hand gun.