Check out this can of nuts who thinks Jesus is a bruise on her toes.

Link Here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/29/paula-osuna-jesus-toe-bruise_n_4690623.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Huff Post-She believes in the Father, Son and the Holy Toes.

Paula Osuna, of Silver City, N.M., claims that the image of Jesus appeared to her in a bruise on her toe, KRQE reports.

Osuna's foot was thoroughly bruised last weekend, when she fell down the stairs, according to the Christian Post. A few days later, she asked her fiance, http://www.elsantuariodechimayo.us/Santuario/HolyDirt.html, to rub some holy dirt -- which he had saved from a pilgrimage to the Catholic shrine in Chimayo -- on her foot.

She bandaged the foot over the dirt, and the next day, when she took the bandages off, her family members pointed out that one of her bruises had taken on the shape of Jesus Christ.

Okay, before I bring this pig to the slaughter, Huffington Post that pun was gross. It was so bad I didn't even laugh, and I LOVE puns. Father, Son and Holy Toes. Holy Moly thats beyond atrocious. Step your pun game up or get out of it altogether because thats inexcusable.

So it seems like every few weeks some new zealot is seeing the son of god poking his glorious facial hair on a piece of toast, in the snow or the newest one, on some whale's toes. Newsflash idiots, a guy who can turn water into wine isn't going to waste his time making his lettuce appear on some sausage toes for some bitch who just finished her 2nd #3 from Whataburger and washed it down with a side of high cholesterol. He's got pussy-getting wet skills like you read about, so theres no reason for him to force himself out in the overly tolerant bible-belt.  I'll be honest I think the shroud of Turin is a stretch, nevermind this hog's piggies who went to market having Hey seuss's smug mug bruised into it. 

Side note- is there anything, and I mean anything worse than stubbing your toes? The worst collective minute and a half of your life with be a collection of post 5 second toe stubbing. Rather lop a finger off at the root than stub a bare foot on an immovable object. 

Check out this jerk off who paid his tuition in dollar bills

Denver Post- University of Utah student Luq Mughal paid his tuition bill Tuesday with 2,000 single dollar bills as a protest against rising tuition rates.

Mughal said he spends his weekends working to pay for college — after a week of 12-hour days studying electrical engineering. Even though the 21-year-old gets a discount because his father is a member of the faculty, the cost of tuition plus fees, books and living expenses is crushing.

“By no means am I the saddest story on campus. There's a lot of people here just as bad and probably worse,” he said. “The people making the prices are not actually aware of how hard it is on the students.”

He's hoping to send a message with the cash, which he collected from several banks, and that more students join him next year.

So before I go off on Luq with a q for being a total jerk off, let me say from someone being crippled by student loans, anything to make a college realize how shitty they are for legally stealing from kids I'll get behind. My school was $48,000 A YEAR my senior year. I just shit my pants and screamed at the same time rereading that statement. Greatest time of my life, still shouldn't cause almost 50 g's. GAH.

Alright Luq....Luke? Luck? Go pound sand you intolerable dick. Your father works for  U Utah. You're protesting  something you're receiving for 80% off. You know who else does that? Assholes, thats who. You're paying 20% of a state school tuition. So I'm assuming all said and done college costs you like AT MOST 8 grand a year. God I hate you you weird-name spelling turd. I hope the lady at the bursar throws a brick at your head.

Speaking of which if you're that fat, miserable middle aged woman working at the bursar (Pretty sure thats the 4 requirements to get hired at a university bursar.) Do you just straight up quit when you realize you have to count this shit out? The next 3 hours of your life are going to be spent counting out dollar bill after dollar bill because Don in maintenance's son had to be such little dick and pay for school this way. You either quit on the spot or somehow make sure Don's check gets lost in the mail the next few weeks. 

Oh look Frontier airlines is fucking their customers again. What a surprise.

Pop quiz hot shot. Whats the worst airline in the history of airlines? Wrong, its Frontier. Oh wait? You guessed that. Not too difficult when they suck an amount that becomes impressive. I flew them for the first time this week. Total shit show. Terminal was over crowded and smelled like hot wet ass, they charge not only for checked bags (Southworst for the win). THEY FUCKING CHARGE FOR CARRY ON. Let that sink in. To use our public space you have to throw us a Jackson cause we're greedy ass bags. Then they give you about 20 directtv channels to watch, not bad right? A little Jet Blue action you think...Wrong fuck face they're gonna try to hit you up for another $5 just to watch anything. But don't worry, if you don't want to shell out the money they'll let you stare at a blank screen just taunting you.

So this comes as no surprise that they are hate fucking their customer for more cash. I think the biggest surprise here should be that they actually have people who qualify for this rewards program. What the hell is wrong with these people? Have you ever flown another airline? Like literally anything else? Cause at this point I'd rather take a hot air balloon to get me places than fly this dumpster fire of an airline.

Lastly, how dare they put pictures of adorable animals all over their planes. Look at that fox, hes cute as shit. I'm here squeaming and squealing like a middle school girl over how god damn cute that thing is. But now its ruined because this adorable little bastard is hiding the filth and greed that is this sham of an airline.

I have NEVER wanted a player to have a big game more than I want DT to have one against Richard Sherman.

Fuck this guy.

       Alright, let me start off by not selling Richard Sherman short. This guy is incredible. Hands down the best CB in the NFL, shut down to the point of being reminiscent of Revis from 3-4 years ago. Dude can flat out play. Having said that FUCK THIS ASSHOLE. Look, I love when players are cocky and they can back it up, its incredible, someone who can talk jive and show everyone why they're talking that way. But this shithead takes it to a new level of asshole I didn't think was possible. Slaps Crabtree's ass and gives him the choke sign? Dude is lucky he wasn't playing back in the 80s against anyone from the U. Michael Irvin would have whipped out a blade he had been hiding and give this dick a haircut right on the field. Then, poor gorgeous Erin Andrews tries to have a nice civil interview with him and hes spouting off like Muhammad Ali before a Frazier fight. Saying he's the best in the league and Crabtree is weak. Bro, little hint here....you haven't won shit yet. You want to do this after you take home the Lombardi trophy? Go ahead. But you made it to the superbowl, congratulations. Kerry Collins lead a team to the superbowl on a 4 year black out...chill your shit.

Which is why I don't want, I NEED Demaryius Thomas to have a UUUUGGGGEEE game. I mean Megatron vs. the Cowgirls uge. Need him to put up monster numbers why Sherman sits there so beside himself he can't even put words together (I know he has a hard enough time with that as it is.) All this needs to happen or Denver needs to run a #83 special on his stupid ass.

Sidenote- 

Jesus Christ, Iggy. You must HATE this dude. 

Game day. TIME TO RIDE

Game day has finally come, and arguably the greatest QB rivalry ever is happening once again on the 2nd biggest stage. I know history has favored pretty boy Tommy 'Uggs' Brady at a gross 4-9 against Peyton. But they're coming into Mile High today...and it is GORGEOUS out almost 60 degrees, totally sunny, no wind. A one glove day for Peyton. I'd like to think the Denver offense is going to be just too much for the Pats to handle and they can hopefully run it right down their throats; but i have my concerns. I've seen too many well thought out game plans by Bilichick to think he is going to let this game come down to which team has more talent on their roster. Pats have been power running like its the 1970s to get to this point but I feel like with Chris Harris out for the season (fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck) and a depleted secondary where its going to be up to a rusty Quentin Jammer and 125 year old Champ Bailey to stop the aerial attack of Tommy boy.

This game should get interesting. Final Score DEN:34 NE:31

DIA sues RTD over lightrail to airport project

Denver Post-A $53 million contract dispute between Denver International Airport and the Regional Transportation District over the costs of bringing passenger trains to the airport has escalated into a court battle.

DIA filed suit after getting what it considered an unfavorable ruling from a hearing officer. Hoping to recover the full amount, DIA has excluded the entire $53 million from its cost estimates for its terminal redevelopment project, which is already more than $40 million over budget.

The dispute centers on the last stretch of RTD's East Rail Line, which ends at the airport. The airport and the transit system disagree about who should pay how much for a long list of items along that stretch: excavation, roads, bridges, walls, drainage and the train station platform.

For DIA, a victory in court is critical to a project budget that has already grown from $500 million to $544 million.

I bet you think you know where I'm going with this. You think i'm going to say who cares? public transportation is for poor people anyway, why would a world class denver sports blogger like myself need the three ring circus that is public transport? And most of the time you would be right. Because the worst type of human beings use public transit. Usually you are lucky if you ride and don't get stabbed by anything from a hypodermic needle to homeless bum's crank shaft.Its an absolute bloodbath of uncomfortable to downright dangerous situations.

 But this is the line to the airport. The one line i actually care about getting built. Do you know how far away DIA is from Denver? its practically in Missouri (yes I skipped all of Nebraska, its that far away), a huge time investment just to drive there out in the middle of the plains. The wind gusts about half the speed of sound and you're afraid its going to flip your car the whole time. Absolutely brutal. Last week i hit a tumbleweed, a fucking tumbleweed. Think about that for a second. It was my jeep vs the tumbleweed coming at my car like Von Miller on meth and its safe to say that tumbleweed won. So if I can throw some headphones on and leave it up to someone else to get me there. I'll take the possible homeless/ naked crazy people/ catastrophic train accident to be able to be that little bit more lazy. Its that much of a problem in my life. 

Chicago man asked by police to stop shooting down icicles off his house with a revolver.

Exact sketch of aforementioned man.

Huffington Post- A suburban Chicago man's unconventional method of removing icicles from his house attracted some unwanted attention from a neighbor and, ultimately, police, last Friday.

As United Press International reports, the 80-year-old from St. Charles, Ill. was trying to remove the icicles from the second floor of his home by shooting them down from his bathroom window with a .22-caliber revolver.

A neighbor whose dog was frightened by the gunfire called Kane County police, who responded to the Friday incident and advised the man to try a bullet-free alternative like a broomstick handle instead, the Kane County Chronicle reports.

“He stated that if anybody was hit by the falling round, it would be just like getting hit with a piece of hail,” police said, noting the man argued his icicle removal method was safe since he was pointing the shots upward and not at anyone.

You ever get a feeling that the elderly are only being kept around for their sheer senility and entertainment value? I can't see how a person like this is left alone to his own devices to eventually be caught removing icicles from his house in the only practical manner available.... a .22 revolver, obviously. I love his response of 'the falling round would feel like getting hit with a piece of hail.' basically saying stop being such a pussy and let me get back to shooting inanimate objects off of my house. 

Guarantee you this is the same type of grandfather that drinks a bit too much Jim Beam, gets his grandkid's names wrong and occasionally shows up to thanksgiving dinner without pants on. You know, the best type of grandfather. Gets a little too dicey talking about ' Those japs back in dubya dubya two.' No magnum PI and a glass of warm milk for this old bastard, Those jerkoff icicles are back again and hes there to show them once and for all who's the king of his Chicago suburbia home. 

Side note- I feel like Chicago has regressed into an arctic thunderdome, People just beating back Old man winter with a good old fashioned hand gun.

Justin Bieber may have the world by the balls....but his fans have lost any grip with reality.

Link: http://www.hlntv.com/article/2014/01/15/bieber-justin-egg-house-police-raid-tweets?hpt=hp_t3

So these coming up are some of the more ridiculous Bieber tweets after his egg and nose clam induced run in with the law. I'd say our country is in horrible shape if this is our future, but then again in the last month I drank whiskey sours till I puked playing Marvel Vs Capcom 2 on original xbox.....so you know people in glass houses and what not.

Alright, lets start with the name...Justinsbaby69. not even that Justinsbby69 meaning someone already has the proper spelling. Jesus Christ. He looks like a prepubescent 8th grader trying to hide NRBs in 4th period language arts...and you want to 69 him. Secondly, IS YOUR CAPS LOCK BROKEN...my ears hurt reading this and I'm sitting in silence. the Biebs doesn't need you, He needs Keyshawn Johnson rolling up in his Prius and PJs to yell at him about speeding more than he needs a psychopath like you. Find a new hobby.

I'm not twitter expert but I dont think those are going to trend toots. By the way that name is: this bitch loves datt? what the fuck is that? I feel like I'm missing out on something and its bothering me more than it should. The scariest part of this entire tweet...3 retweets...3 people are so on board with this tweet they're willing to post it on their wall and visually display that they agree with this C U Next Tuesday. Mind bottling.

We're going to assume the 15 in your twitter handle is indicative of your age. In which case you live at home. And i know for a FACT that your dad would be fucking pissed if some skinny popstar dipshit egged his house. Just sitting there mumbling to himself as he hoses egg off his Toyota Corrolla about how he wanted to go on a vacation but your mother wanted to have kids and now his skank daughter thinks shes the cats pajamas because she prompted an egging of her own house. Congratulations, you're slowly killing your father.

Look at this one; decent grammar, proper punctuation, no excessive hashtagging or capitalization. Almost comes off as intelligent..and that is why it scares the shit out of me. This has serial killer Buffalo Bill style written all over it. This person has a Justice Beaver fuck doll in their basement made out of pubic hair and shotgun shells. Keeping all the 'non-beliebers' locked up in the basement. No thank you. 

Again with the caps locks. Please stop shouting. You're going to tell me the biggest pop star in the world has a pile of blow sitting in his living room and hes not snorting rails till he hears Al Pacino's broken cuban echoing in his head? Have you ever heard of musicians doing drugs? Keith Richards has snorted an amount of coke equivalent to the weight of Khloe Kardashian, but don't worry, the Biebs is different. Also, Jbiebsaholic? You love the Biebs so much its a phsyical addiction that is destroying your liver and making you pee in inappropriate closets and dressers? 

Excuse me while I throw myself out of the 10th floor of the hotel I'm in. 

100,000 dead fish surface in Lake in Nevada

Denver Post- SPARKS, Nev.—State wildlife officials are trying to figure out why all the fish have died in a northern Nevada marina where the stocked fishery has flourished since the man-made lake was created nearly 15 years ago.

As many as 100,000 trout, bass and catfish have died over the past month in the Sparks Marina along U.S. Interstate 80 east of Reno, apparently the result of a dramatic, unexplained drop in dissolved oxygen levels, Nevada Department of Wildlife spokesman Chris Healy said Wednesday.

Scientists say a bitter cold-snap could have caused oxygen-poor waters to rise from the old rock quarry's bottom to the surface, but they don't understand what sparked the massive die-off.

Fish biologists confirmed low oxygen levels caused the death of an estimated 3,000 fish in one corner of the lake in mid-December but Healy said they thought at the time the event was localized and of limited impact. Since then, they've been unable to detect any live fish in the 77-acre lake. Numerous dead fish have been removed from the lake's shoreline and Healy said it's likely the rest sank to the bottom.

"The 100,000 dead fish figure is something that is probably a pretty conservative guess," said Healy, who estimates they've stocked close to 1 million adult fish in the lake since they started in 1998.

So I'm an educated white boy, graduated with mechanical engineering, working as an electrical engineer. I've learned why these massive amount of fish die all at once and all of that garbage. So you'd assume I'd be a bit more tolerant/ understanding of the plight here....fuck no. I can tell you one thing for sure, the town of Sparks Nevada must fucking STINK. I mean next-day beer farts mixed with mayonnaise thats been sitting in the sun bad. Fish smell is downright offensive when its on ice and properly refridgerated. I couldn't begin to fathom the stink of 100,000 fish baking in the Nevada sun. I'm getting nauseous sitting here thinking about it. 

Amazing how different this is taken around the world. Guarantee you there are a bunch of pain in the ass environmentalists who legit probably cry over this 'epic loss of life.' Meanwhile in like Thailand/Vietnam area, a fisherman discovering this probably came in his pants so hard he fell over. Diff'rent strokes I suppose.

Tom Brady misses practice today due to 'undisclosed illness.'

Now I'm not saying that Tom Brady isn't sick. But no way in hell is Tom Brady sick. Not with anything serious anyway. This is either A.) ESPN hitting a Wednesday lull and need to make minuscule thing seem like a much bigger issue than it is. (Probably) or B.) Bilichick pulling more of his mind games bullshit to try to throw off the Broncos game plan. (far less likely.) Brady is probably feeling a little shitty and banged up and the Pats are being conservative and just giving him the day off. But you KNOW ESPN will have nothing short of 6 hours of coverage on this instead of covering real sports stories, like people dropping dead of heat stroke down in Australia. And that is the type of shit that ESPN pulls nowadays that makes their network damn near unwatchable. Not that I care about assholes trying to play tennis in 110 degree heat but they're so invested in pointless NFL soap opera drama they ignore other shit entirely. With that on top of all of their dickhead employees like Mike Greenberg and Skip Bayless who are going to break their necks if they fall from their high horses the network is tolerable for about 10 minutes a clip.

I was going to write a blog bashing the pats for pulling their stupid mind game bullshit and ended up ripping ESPN instead. Oh well. Fuck the pats anyway. Stupid dicks act like they're the perennial champs and havent won anything in a decade.

PS- If Tom Brady is actually sick, comes into Denver, beats the Broncos and ESPN proceeds to tout this as the next 'Jordan flu game' I will lose my goddamn mind and burn Bristol, CT to the ground.

Gang of Geriatric Koreans holding McDonald's seating hostage

New York Times-Shortly after New Year’s Day, Man Hyung Lee, 77, was nursing a coffee in his usual seat in a narrow booth at a McDonald’s in Flushing, Queens, when two police officers stepped into the fluorescent light of the restaurant. Mr. Lee said the officers had been called because he and his friends — a revolving group who shuffle into the McDonald’s on the corner of Parsons and Northern Boulevards on walkers, or with canes, in wheelchairs or with infirm steps, as early as 5 a.m. and often linger until well after dark — had, as they seem to do every day, long overstayed their welcome.

“They ordered us out,” Mr. Lee said from his seat in the same McDonald’s booth a week after the incident, beneath a sign that said customers have 20 minutes to finish their food. (He had already been there two hours.) “So I left,” he said.

“Then I walked around the block and came right back again.”

“Do you think you can drink a large coffee within 20 minutes?” David Choi, 77, said. “No, it’s impossible.”

First things first, check out the big balls on Hyung Lee! Safe to say North Korea is in the shape it is in today because it is void of the all the hard nosed pissy Koreans who wouldn't put up with Kim Jong Un's black out bullshit like Hyung. Loitering statutes are on par with Genocidal oppression right? Right.

Secondly, it makes no fucking sense that an international badass like Hyung is hanging out with this jabroni David Choi. Can't drink a large coffee in 20 minutes? Go kick rocks David; you're the only one who can't drink a large coffee in twenty minutes. Though I must say McDonald's coffee is on par with liquified baby shit, so maybe he is onto something.

Question for you that I've pondered forever, How in the world do people like these clearly unemployed Koreans afford to live in the most expensive city in the world? My friends live blocks from this in Queens, both have good jobs and make decent money and they're practically living on top of each other for an absolutely absurd amount of money. Meanwhile, these dickhead old folks have enough time in the day to get kicked out of a place that is guaranteed to have nothing but employees who don't give a fuck about their job.
Someone please explain, its making my head hurt.

link:http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/15/nyregion/fighting-a-mcdonalds-for-the-right-to-sit-and-sit-and-sit.html?hp&_r=0

Watch me live tweet the Avs game if i can find an online stream.

I know we're all hoping for this tonight.

The Avs are going into the United Center tonight facing arguably the best team in the NHL (ducks have a good argument.) and this will not be easy points. Duchene and O'Reilly are going to have to kick, punch , claw and generally say horrible things about Corey Crawford's family to have the Avs come out of Chicago with their heads held high. This needs to happen because you know Sharp and Keith are going to scare the shit out of the entire state of Colorado with every possession of the puck; oh, and they have the only human to have life more by the balls than Johnny Football, Patrick Kane. Jesus, I may just forget the live stream, pretend like I worked out and go sit in silence at Del Taco.

Like I mentioned before, I travel 90% of the time for work so I'm basically George Clooney from Up in the Air only I'm better looking and pull far more ass. (two of those statements are false...can you guess which?). 

So I will be backtracing for live feeds and tweeting about the Avs hoping Patrick WAHHH jumps the glass and gives Quenneville a black eye. Follow me on twitter. 

@denverssblog

Tallest waterslide in the world being built...in Kansas City?

Well, we've got an overachieving football team with a quarterback who can't throw more than 20 yards, an NFL coach who has been slowly consuming every living organism in his radius, and a baseball team that hasn't won anything since George Brett killed an umpire over pine tar....what can we do to get people here while forgetting how terrible of a place it really is? Then, somehow the geniuses in Kansas City, MO determined an oversized waterslide was it. Can't think of a bigger try hard city than KC. With that being said I will be first in line for this monstrosity. I don't even like water slides and roller coasters. I LOVE THEM. Can't get enough of them. Worst part is, I'm afraid of heights. Absolutely terrified of them; I had a nervous breakdown on the top of the empire state building. So I know I will be screaming like a little girl down this thing, who cares? I need to plummet down this death chute.


Side note- CORRECTION: Kansas City will be my new walking point after a Southwest plane inevitably lands at the wrong airport and leaves me stranded in Branson, MO. Not a bad walk.

Southwest plane lands at wrong airport...In the middle of Missouri

(CNN) -- A day after a Southwest Airlines jet with 124 passengers landed at the wrong airport, many are asking: How in the world could that happen?

"It's not common, but it's not unheard of," said pilot Mark Weiss, a 20-year veteran of commercial aviation who has frequently flown Boeing 737-700s, the same kind of aircraft that touched down Sunday at a small airport in Taney County, Missouri, about seven miles from where it was supposed to land at Branson Airport.

The plane stopped about 500 feet from the end of a runway at M. Graham Clark Downtown Airport, but no one was injured, said Chris Berndt, the Western Taney County Fire District fire chief and emergency management director.

"There are a lot of questions, and I suspect this is a matter of procedures not being followed, something along the long chain of everything you must do and constantly do as a pilot for safety," Weiss said.

A little background on myself, as well as being a world class Denver sports blogger I also travel constantly for my work. So I fly Southworst all the time. Its the airline for poor people, and it is a goddamn zoo. Everyone on those flights are either pissed off businessmen who couldnt get a delta flight, families who have a baby that isn't happy to be on this flight and needs everyone to hear her shreik. Every stewardess thinks shes a stand up comedian or Mariah Carey, and you have to sit through this shit because you forgot a battery for your headphones. Absolutely brutal. Some of the worst moments in my life have been dealing with this abortion of an airline. But if I had to deal with all that shit AND end up in some random airport in the middle of Missouri unexpectedly I'd lose every last semblance of my mind. be too much to handle, I'd legit quit my job and walk home Forrest Gump style. 

Sidenote- Despite dealing with the scum of civilization and obnoxious stewardesses its still hands down the best airline. THAT is how shitty flying is.

There is a Hot Dog Bomber on the loose in Ken Caryl, and I for one am terrified

Denver Post - Suspect yells "hot dog," throws one. On Dec. 26, an employee of Subway, 11757 W. Ken Caryl Ave., Ken-Caryl, told Jefferson County Sheriff's deputies that he was in the store when a man came in and yelled what he thought was, "Hot dog!" The suspect then threw what appeared to be a hot dog at the victim. The victim said he told police just in case it happened someplace else

Crime of the century here everyone. There is a derranged mad man throwing delicious meats at people in Ken Caryl. Some would call this a blessing but I would have to say this would most certainly result in me calling it a day. Call into work "Yeah I was assaulted at subway at lunch today, think I'm going to need the rest of the day to eat Ellio's and watch princess bride while i contemplate how my life got to this place." Reminds me of the Chappelle stand up about how taking a busted nut from a homeless dude won't kill you but it will certainly fuck up your day. The same has to be true here. There you are contemplating how to actually get through the day and not kill yourself in your cube. Trying to enjoy your Janu-any spicy italian and you take a cold mystery meat right off the dome. I'd be lying if I said I had it in me to finish my day at that point. 

Chris Harris tears ACL, out remainder of playoffs, excuse me while i go slam my head in the car door.

What a ferocious kick in the dick to start my monday, Jesus Christ. From the highest of the highs to the lowest of the well pretty low; Broncos are still playing for the AFC championship. Now this Denver defense has been the center of criticism for a while and rightfully so, but Chris Harris was one of the only beacons of consistency on a defense that is injury prone and old as hell (sorry Champ). He wasn't a shut down corner of the freaks like megatron or AJ Green but he was perfect for the smaller guys who could make a lot of noise like Amendola and Edelman. With Quentin Jammer looking like he was lost yesterday this does not bode well for the boys in Orange.

Is this the end of the world? No, we still have a qb who threw for almost 6000 yards and 55 TDs in a season and an offense that can erupt for almost 50 pts any given night but it does scare me because you know the king of darkness and his well dressed boy prince will be looking to take advantage of this.

Fuck its 1:30 and i already need a drink.

Two Chargers fan thugs beat on a broncos fan and I still laughed.

So this has been circulating around social media for the past few minutes and I know I should all up in arms about two chargers scum bags beating on a broncos fan but the fact of the matter is that this was hilarious. I actually laughed out loud when that speeding orange bowling ball came in hot trying to throw absolute haymakers. Not even sure how these chargers fans managed to curb stomp the hell out of this guy without dying of absolute laughter first. Feel like i just watched Stanley from the Office get his ass handed to him. Cops being real Johnny on the spot by only allowing our friend Stanley to take 5 kicks to the skull before pulling the Chargers thugs off of him.

Broncos vs Bolts time to ride

The time is nearly here and I'm so nervous I could puke. Couldn't have the scaries  more to be playing a team in the first round than the San Diego Bolos.

Check out my twitter I'll be live tweeting and generally making an ass of myself.

@Denverssblog

Go Broncos!

Black Rhino Hunting permit sells for $350K

Dallas, Texas (CNN) -- The Dallas Safari Club auctioned off a black rhino hunting permit in Namibia for $350,000, according to the club's public relations firm.

Wealthy hunters gathered Saturday evening inside the Dallas Convention Center to bid on the rare chance to hunt one of the world's most endangered animals.

The Safari Club says the auction was done in the name of conservation, to save the threatened black rhinoceros. All proceeds will be donated to the Namibian government and will be earmarked for conservation efforts, club officials say.

Animal conservationists estimate there are only about 5,000 black rhinos in the world, 1,700 of which are in the southern Africa nation. They are considered a "critically endangered species" by wildlife organizations around the world.

"This is the best way to have the biggest impact on increasing the black rhino population," said Ben Carter, executive director of the Dallas Safari Club.

Question, is there a bigger mogul move than dropping a bullpen catcher salary to go hunt a wild offensive lineman in the African Savannah? There can't be. I honestly can't fathom a more absurd use of 350k.

By the way LOVE the director's explanation for handing out permits to go hunt an endangered species, 'this is the best way to preserve the species.' Letting people kill them is the best way? Go kick rocks bro. Stop pussy footing and just say that you're accepting an absurd amount of money to let rich lunatics go hunt a horned Mama June.

1/2 of the biggest QB rivalry intact for an AFC Championship match up.

So the pats did what they always do. Win themselves a trip to the AFC championship, which makes it all the more important the D-town gets the win over the bolts tomorrow. Not only so it can be an absolutely awesome AFC championship, also so the Broncos can shut down the most obnoxious and evil franchise in the game.

Now i'm not going to down play how good this new england team is. They're almost good enough to excuse every masshole who claims 'the regular season starts in the first round of the playoffs.' Hey get fucked you southie prick. But this team is phenomenal and I think that Denver owes it to the country not to let that bolo tie wearing hick get torn up by Belichik. Denver owes it to America to get that win tomorrow.

God I hate the Patriots.

Side Note- Hey LaGarrette, People don't forget.

CO DOT installs mile marker 419.99 because 420 bro.

I'm not going to sit here and chastise people for stealing street signs. I went through a drunk college street sign stealing phase myself. Got caught, roommate and i were immediate with the fake names it was marvelous; my girlfriend clammed up and stammered out uhhhh Ashley......uhhh Johnson, Nailed it Babe! Cops will never see through that!

But stealing a 420 mile marker sign? Bet that looks great next to the poster of Peyton on the wall and the penthouse you keep under the mattress to hide from your mother. Get real count chocula.

Show some originality in your theft, Bonner ave, Bee Jay Court those are signs to steal.

http://m.denverpost.com/denverpost/db_261957/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=gxCc7kaW

Nuggets draw the rubric for how to beat a westbrook-less thunder

Normally I wouldn't blog after a single game but I went to the game last night so let's do this.

First off I had incredible seats (I know a guy...and his name is stub hub.) So watching that up close was unreal as the nuggets wiped their sack across the proverbial OKC forehead. Ty Lawson slang dark dick all over the Pepsi center and the Nuggs extend their new streak to 4 straight games.

Impressive as the win was I feel as though other teams will look to replicate  how to beat this current thunder team. They let KD be his normal freak of nature self but collapsed on him on the rim. After that they shut down the role players. Rim protection and stopping everyone who isn't a 6'11 swingman who can nail a three.

A win like that is so sweet my mouth is watering over that 8 seed.

Pot sales in first week of recreation legalization hits $5 MILLION

5 MILLION DOLLARS, think about that. 5 million dollars, in weed sales. That's an outrageous amount of money; that's like 20 A-rod at bats. Nothing has really changed around here though, I feel like old people were preparing for the end of days 'when those reefer smoking hippies' take over. I feel like the normal person isn't really effected by this anyway but apparently everyone around here is blazing like a bieber track.

When I saw that number it reminded me of freshman year when you somehow end up in the kid's dorm room who likes pot just a little too much and pretend to be all about raggae and che guevara. Just picture those people today hearing this news and just creaming their pants, planning a road trip in their 92 Buick La Sabre.


DOOBIE BROTHERS

Andre Miller get the fuck off my mediocre team

Look, I know the Nuggs aren't the best right now. Far from it. But I also know what isn't helping them, and thats that dickhead Andre Miller. Theres no pleasing this guy. He yells at Shaw, tries to takes Lawson's minutes (probably racist against Gallinari.) can't have it. Won't have it.
   
This 17-17 (soon to be 17-18 with the OKC Kevin Durantulas's coming to town tonight) is clawing for an 8 seed in a Western Conference that is currently making the east look like a great college conference. They need all the help they can get and it starts with booting this selfish ass. Nobody's got time for that Andre when you're in the Mile High.

Phil Rivers and his stupid Bolo Tie come into Denver on Sunday

So everyone knows the story at this point. Peyton having an arguably better season than Brady in 2007, all the offensive records set by this Broncos offense and the fact that no offense has ever put up more points. But only 3 weeks ago this jackass with his absurd bolo and below expectations career thus far took it to Elway's boys in Denver, on a Monday night. Because of that, I'm scared.

The bolts kept the forehead off the field and picked at every weakness this defense has. They're the only defense to keep this offense under 400 yards...and they did it twice. No thank you.

So this sunday I'll be doing what i always do. Thats drinking too much. Yelling at the TV and making false threats at Peyton after every incompletion that I would rather have Eli as a QB. You know...normal stuff.