Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Justin Bieber may have the world by the balls....but his fans have lost any grip with reality.



So these coming up are some of the more ridiculous Bieber tweets after his egg and nose clam induced run in with the law. I'd say our country is in horrible shape if this is our future, but then again in the last month I drank whiskey sours till I puked playing Marvel Vs Capcom 2 on original xbox.....so you know people in glass houses and what not.


Alright, lets start with the name...Justinsbaby69. not even that Justinsbby69 meaning someone already has the proper spelling. Jesus Christ. He looks like a prepubescent 8th grader trying to hide NRBs in 4th period language arts...and you want to 69 him. Secondly, IS YOUR CAPS LOCK BROKEN...my ears hurt reading this and I'm sitting in silence. the Biebs doesn't need you, He needs Keyshawn Johnson rolling up in his Prius and PJs to yell at him about speeding more than he needs a psychopath like you. Find a new hobby.


I'm not twitter expert but I dont think those are going to trend toots. By the way that name is: this bitch loves datt? what the fuck is that? I feel like I'm missing out on something and its bothering me more than it should. The scariest part of this entire tweet...3 retweets...3 people are so on board with this tweet they're willing to post it on their wall and visually display that they agree with this C U Next Tuesday. Mind bottling.


We're going to assume the 15 in your twitter handle is indicative of your age. In which case you live at home. And i know for a FACT that your dad would be fucking pissed if some skinny popstar dipshit egged his house. Just sitting there mumbling to himself as he hoses egg off his Toyota Corrolla about how he wanted to go on a vacation but your mother wanted to have kids and now his skank daughter thinks shes the cats pajamas because she prompted an egging of her own house. Congratulations, you're slowly killing your father.


Look at this one; decent grammar, proper punctuation, no excessive hashtagging or capitalization. Almost comes off as intelligent..and that is why it scares the shit out of me. This has serial killer Buffalo Bill style written all over it. This person has a Justice Beaver fuck doll in their basement made out of pubic hair and shotgun shells. Keeping all the 'non-beliebers' locked up in the basement. No thank you. 

Again with the caps locks. Please stop shouting. You're going to tell me the biggest pop star in the world has a pile of blow sitting in his living room and hes not snorting rails till he hears Al Pacino's broken cuban echoing in his head? Have you ever heard of musicians doing drugs? Keith Richards has snorted an amount of coke equivalent to the weight of Khloe Kardashian, but don't worry, the Biebs is different. Also, Jbiebsaholic? You love the Biebs so much its a phsyical addiction that is destroying your liver and making you pee in inappropriate closets and dressers? 

Excuse me while I throw myself out of the 10th floor of the hotel I'm in. 

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